some days it takes a Black Widow to have a 'Come to Jesus Moment'

I realized for the first time today that black widows are much more menacing looking in person than in a photograph. After a long morning of writing out my grocery list, adding it up, rewriting it and then spending about an hour trying to get to the store (don't ask, too long and too boring!) this is what happens.

I show up at our favorite grocery store and Dizzy climbs into 'My Tar!' as he likes to call it. His car is really just the car on the end of the shopping cart. I put G in the Moby and we start walking. One of the first things I grab is green grapes. Dizzy sees them immediately and is not only trying to climb through his back car window into the shopping cart to get them but is loudly proclaiming he wants them and NOW!. I love shopping with two year olds, don't you? I hand him a snack from my bag and plow forward, politely smiling at people who find baby's wrapped up to mommy adorable. I also return the stink eye I get from a few people who seem to think it's inhumane to keep baby so close, and gawk at the gawkers.

After an entire hour we've made it through the line and I start sacking my groceries. I drop my bag of green grapes into a shopping bag and start to put it in the cart, when my brain catches up with my eyes. I had seen something black, clinging. . . possibly moving, on the main stem of my grapes. Ignoring the instinct that tells me it was alive, I double check it for mold. . . thinking that had to have been what I saw and I want 'not moldy' grapes, thank you very much! I let out a startled yelp and hand the bag to the nearest employee. I tell her I'll keep the same bag of grapes, but I want that spider out of it.

This confuses me, because normally I love spiders. As a teen I actually kept two tarantulas (at different times), one was a Mexican Red Knee, and one was a Rose Hair (Rosie was my favorite). Then I realize the horror. As the lady is sticking her hand in the bag to pick it up with a tissue, I realize that I was scared because that spider just looked like death itself, with it's black cape and skull hands. The black body, glistening exoskeleton, and spindly legs. . . the very telling shaped abdomen. I hadn't seen the only hard evidence I needed, but I knew already that I would see an hourglass if I looked. I asked her if it was a black widow, and she said "I certainly hope not!" I leaned in for a closer look and there it was, the red hour glass. I said "It is! Don't touch it, it's a black widow." They eventually got me a new sack of grapes (even bigger than the one I paid for) and hopefully killed the spider before anyone got bit.

As I"m leaving the store I suddenly realize Isaiah could have easily been bitten. How tempted I was to just let him keep grabbing at the grapes (it's a lot easier to let children be unruly than actually follow through with rules/guidelines). Even though I occupied him with cereal and then a book, that spider could have crawled up the cart and into his car. . . . what if it had actually been in the car the whole time, and just took refuge in my grapes? I realized I was standing in the middle of the parking lot, and ready to do. . . . I'm not sure what. I was terrified at what could have happened, angry at the idea that the stupid spider was anywhere near a grocery store (I mean how dare it, really? I shop here!)

On the way home I realize that this was God's way of saying to me "I'm still here, protecting you and your family, though you've wandered a bit too far lately." By protecting I don't mean that nothing bad will ever happen to me because I'm Christian or because God's in charge. . . we all know that's not true. The world is fallen and broken, and mankind has free will, so there will always be sickness, pain and suffering on this Earth. I just mean that He has a plan for me, and that He will never let anything change those plans, even a tiny black widow.

Come to Jesus Moment: when God Himself uses every day circumstances to remind you of who He is vs who you are. Ex: Hubs and I needed $1700 for a new car a few years ago. We didn't have that anywhere. I was stressing to the point of making myself ill over finances one day, and Hubs came home, that day, to tell me he got bonus for $1700. Mind you this was from an employer who was not known for giving out bonuses. All my stressing did was manage to make me sick, but God can do anything.